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Hello Everyone and welcome.Now, you may be wondering why you would want the ebook "Coffee". Well, first off, it has lesbians in it. Wait, don't go away, there's more. These aren't your typical lesbians and the main character isn't sex crazed (well, not that much anyway). He's a little dense and dosen't know what's best for him to do. Wait, there's more. By reading this ebook I guarantee that if you have any problems they will dart magically away while you are reading this book. Yes, that's right, magically. But that's not all. While you are reading this ebook, the sun will shine and flowers will sing and everyone will be happy. Life will actually stop and take on a completely happy tone. But that's not all. Along with this you get a marvelious little invention, the invisible juice squeezer. It's completely noiseless and is 100% invisible. No more will anyone ask you "Is that a juicer on your table?" Plus it makes 100% invisible juice. Along with this it comes with 4, count them, 4 invisible glasses. And it's delivered by our very own overworked invisible delivery boy. Now, what would you pay for a deal like this? 999.99 dollars? No, you want a better deal then that. How about \\$34.95? No, I don't think you want to pay that much for this eather. $19.99? No, I am offering you this marvelious deal, the Ebook Coffee, the magic problem grabber, the sun shiner, the invisible juicer, and the invisible glasses, for the insanely low price of 0.00 dollars. That's right, it's absolutely free! So order now right here!
-Samuel Plahetka
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